hey.. back to post again after SUCH a long time.. lolz.. been quite monotonous through dis few mnths and weeks.. having troubles every now and den.. life always has some kinda divine and stupid way in making ur life more miserable every now and den.. sighz..

trngs pretty much the same.. same routine.. same ppl.. same lousy balancing on the K... same pissed off attitude at myself 4 not putting in my 100% whenever i'm in the water.. sighz.. its juz weird.. when i'm at land trng.. i will always try my best to gif it my 100% whenever i hav the chance to.. although i might be idling arnd everynow and den and juz walking arnd like an idiot.. but when its my turn i always try to mentally do the best i can.. but when i'm in the water, i juz cant get my mindset strightened out.. its as though my mind juz turns off when i'm in the canoe.. wtf is happening to me.. i need my motivation back.. sighz..

life 4 me... screwed up as usual.. sch giving me lots of probs.. nothing new there.. work's boring as ever.. but my personal life is juz killing me.. sighz.. when will i ever be able to fill tht stupid void tht i have.. always when i feel like i can juz ignore the void within me.. someone will juz pop up and attract me so much tht i'll juz go get so distracted again.. then the cycle repeats itself and den i'm troubled by the stupid void again.. lolz.. stupid huh.. sighz.. i need to move on and make myself love canoeing and only canoeing AGAIN!!!! arghz...